Tuesday, October 15, 2013

It's going to be uncomfortable

I've struggled a lot in my faith. I'm still struggling. It's a struggle. Having faith is a really really really hard thing to do. When you are trying to do it on your own, that is.

How do you have more faith?

Romans 10:17 says, "So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ."

This literally means, read the bible ---> gain faith.

I have a hard time accepting that. But, it's true nonetheless. Like I mentioned a few weeks ago, I've been taking a theological development class and it's kicking my butt. And opening my eyes. I've been wanting to write about what I'm learning, but honestly it's just SO much every week that I don't even know where to begin. And it takes a lot more concentration and thought, so I've put it off.

Ok, back to receiving faith. In Romans 1:18-23 it talks about God revealing himself to us. God chooses to reveal himself to mankind, but man on his own will not understand it. You cannot know/understand God without God. It's a circular explanation, but it makes total sense. How in the world could the created understand their creator without the creator's help? God I beg you to help me understand you.

There's SO much that I don't understand about God. I don't understand how he can hear a million separate prayers at once. I don't understand why he allows suffering. I don't understand why he chooses to reveal himself to some people, but keep other people's hearts hardened. This used to really really bother me. I wanted to understand God completely. But actually? It's none of my business. Things are not illogical, they are just past OUR logic. We cannot see the whole pattern of God. It is a form of humility to accept illogical biblical things. God does not give us all of the information, and he doesn't HAVE to. HE is the creator, he is the all knowing, all powerful, incredible being. Not us. He is no where even close to being on our level, there are thousands of things we will never be able to understand about God. We cannot assume to know things that are not clear, because we are not all knowing. God is.

In my mind, I've created a loving wimpy God who doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. That's not who God is. Yes God is loving and yes he cares about how people feel, but he cares about showing his glory more. There was a recent poll taken in the U.S., take a minute and see what you answer:

Do you believe all of these things?
- Christians have a personal responsibility to share their faith
- The Bible is accurate
- God is all knowing, all powerful, Creator of the universe who still rules that universe today
- When Jesus was on earth, He lived a sinless life
- Satan is real
- A person cannot earn his or her eternal salvation by being good or doing good things for other people; salvation is a FREE gift from God.

So, what's your tally? Do you agree with all of that? Those are the basic tenants of Christian faith. That is what it means to call yourself a Christian. Do you know how many Americans said they believed all of those things?


Three percent. THREE percent. I cannot grasp. When I was asked how many I thought it was, I said between 20 and 30%. So wrong. Do you want to know how many Americans claim to be Christian?


All this to say, you can know God, you can know his love and believe in his word. But if Jesus isn't a part of that equation and a part of your every day life, you are not saved. I want to believe in the non offensive Christianity. But in reality, that's not real. Jesus offended people. He spoke truth and it made people uncomfortable. So I'm not sorry if this made any one uncomfortable. I'M uncomfortable! My life was way more put together when I just went to church and prayed when I needed something. Now it's messy. I'm deep in the trenches of biblical community; sharing life and vulnerability with people. I'm talking about things that I'd rather just leave unsaid. But my goal is to glorify the Lord, my Jesus, my sweet deliverer and comforter and daily bread. I'm hurting but I have an eternal life of rejoicing waiting for me at the end.

*remind me to talk about how I used to think Heaven sounded boring. Spoiler Alert: It's not!

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